29 Mar
Unless you’ve been living under a rock somewhere on Mars, you’ll know that former Crowded House & Split Enz drummer Paul Hester killed himself on the 26th of March. This is truly tragic news. If you grew up with Crowded House then I don’t need to explain just how important & influential their music was. And if you didn’t, I don’t know if I adequately can.
But I’ll give it a shot.
Their music was beautiful. Heart-aching or joyous, but beautiful. Their songs stretched the whole expanse of human emotion. From the fun of Sister Madly to the melancholy of Nails in my Feet, Neil Finn’s amazing voice combined with Nick Seymour’s bass & Paul’s brilliant rhythm (and later Mark Hart’s keyboard & guitar) created a group that was greater than the sum of it’s parts. This is not to say that individually they were not great musicians, but while I love Neil’s individual offerings (and those with his brother) nothing he’s produced since comes close to the musical poetry that was Crowded House.
Paul Hester was a brilliant musician. No one who’s heard him perform, or heard the music he wrote, could maintain the usual jokes about drummers & musical ability. He often dragged a drum up to front of stage with Neil & Nick to carry on there. Yes he had rhythm, but saying that a drummer has rhythm is like saying a painter understands colour. You don’t get to be a drummer without rhythm. But Paul had a musical ability that carried him beyond the standard ‘keep the beat and stay back there’ drummer. He had a rhythm that was almost melodic (if it’s not sacrilegious to call it so).
As an angst-ridden, melodramatic teenager (is there any other kind?) their music expressed my mixed up emotions. I can only explain by comparison. Together Alone, by far their greatest offering, I place next to U2’s Achtung Baby & Zooropa and R.E.M.’s Automatic For The People. Their music was definitive of an era for me. But more than that, they were also part of developing my love of quality music, rather than just following the charts. Together Alone was their best album, but it was by no means their most popular.
One more thing. A public suicide like this, of a well-known person, always brings out a whole bunch of pundits & commentators who want to answer the question Why?
. This is a natural response to any suicide, but it is not our place to start digging into Paul’s private life to try and find out what drove him to this, and as is often the case, to try and apportion blame. That is not helpful to his grieving family & it serves no useful purpose (note: Selling magazines is not a useful purpose). I do not subscribe to this common belief that people gain the advantages of fame and fortune at the expense of their privacy & dignity. While those who actively seek publicity to advance their career have no one to blame but themselves, *cough*Paris Hilton*cough*, Paul Hester was a very private man, rarely giving interviews & public appearances. In what is now his family’s hardest hour, we should at least have the decency to not dig too deeply into this.
Pete the Swede has posted an image of what will probably be the most poignant tribute to Paul Hester, and I’ll end this with the cover of Crowded House’s debut, self-titled album, who’s imagery has become disturbingly prophetic.

17 Responses for "Paul Hester (1959 – 2005)"
Tis so very sad, just watched RocKWiz (on SBS) …….
The man was a LEGEND, a master of people, ZEN god of the drums and all round Grand soul……
He will be missed on SOOOO many levels…
We were lucky to have The Enz, House and all other permutations of Hessie….
I never knew U, but I enjoyed…..
Rest Well….
Tis so very sad, just watched RocKWiz (on SBS) …….
The man was a LEGEND, a master of people, ZEN god of the drums and all round Grand soul……
He will be missed on SOOOO many levels…
We were lucky to have The Enz, House and all other permutations of Hessie….
I never knew U, but I enjoyed…..
Rest Well….
I feel,
Sadness ….. for the senseless loss of life and a wonderful talent,
Sadness ….. for Paul’s family, for the loss of a partner and father,
Sadness ….. for Mike, for the loss of a son,
Sadness ….. for Paul, when at his most fragile, not knowing that nothing is worth dying for.
Nothing can prepare you for this kind of tragedy. I’m sorry that you must face this so publicly.
At a time when YOU must be most fragile, we send love and strength.
Cia Schoppe and family (ex Tennant Creek NT)
I feel,
Sadness ….. for the senseless loss of life and a wonderful talent,
Sadness ….. for Paul’s family, for the loss of a partner and father,
Sadness ….. for Mike, for the loss of a son,
Sadness ….. for Paul, when at his most fragile, not knowing that nothing is worth dying for.
Nothing can prepare you for this kind of tragedy. I’m sorry that you must face this so publicly.
At a time when YOU must be most fragile, we send love and strength.
Cia Schoppe and family (ex Tennant Creek NT)
True loss and sadness for the music world and your adoring fans.
Thankyou for always making us smile and providing wonderful memories of my teen years and beyond. Your music lifted me in my hardest times.
Your talent will forever be appreciated.
That’s what I call love.
True loss and sadness for the music world and your adoring fans.
Thankyou for always making us smile and providing wonderful memories of my teen years and beyond. Your music lifted me in my hardest times.
Your talent will forever be appreciated.
That’s what I call love.
In the months since his death, I’ve read and re-read countless articles and posts regarding Paul. I finally spotted this one and would like to thank you. It’s been almost nine months (!), but I inadvertantly think about him everyday.
In the months since his death, I’ve read and re-read countless articles and posts regarding Paul. I finally spotted this one and would like to thank you. It’s been almost nine months (!), but I inadvertantly think about him everyday.
miss you Paulo
miss you Paulo
I signed on to Napster for the first time the other night. The first group I downloaded was Crowded House. I listend to them for hours and thought about how much I loved their music and I remembered what a crush I had on Paul(I was in my last year of high school when they came out with “Something So Strong”). The next night I pulled them up again. I decided to look Crowded House up on the net to see what they looked like and what was going on in their lives. I am an American and I did not know about Paul’s death until 3-18-06(18-03-06). When I saw a name listed and it said he had died, I could not believe it. Not my cute, funny little Paul.
I never met the man and I only listened to their music, but I have not stopped crying since I heard about his death. At first I felt silly for feeling this way(thank goodness my husband was out of town or he would have thought I was a loon for acting like this over the death of someone I never met). But I did meet him through his music and his videos and I feel like I am an old friend.
I started asking myself “Why am I acting like this?” I guess the answer is that I am like Paul, I suffer from depression. About 5 years ago, I hit rock bottom, no boyfriend, hated my job, felt talented but had to do a job I hated to pay my bills. I had lost my father at age 14 due to cancer and my sister died from an epileptic seizure in the bathtub when she was 17 and I was 20. Not including them, I have lost 14 close family members since I was 14. I tried to act like everything was fine for years but it just came to a head one day.
Luckily I told one of my friends about my thoughts of suicide and she suggested seeing a therapist and getting on medication(kinda ironic since I have a degree in Psychology and Sociology). It has been over 5 years now, I try to get off my meds from time to time thinking I can handle life on my own, but I have to accept that my body is lacking in seratonin and I will always have to take these pills.
On a happier note, I met someone about a year after my depression kicked in and I am now I have been happily married for 3 years. The first thing I told him was about my depression and meds so that if he was not o.k. with that, I did not need to waste my time on him. Although he does not understand depression, he loves and accepts me just the way I am.
You see, I am considered to be funny too. Everytime my friends are down they call me to make them laugh and soon they are feeling better. I am always supposed to be “on” or “the clown” when I am around others. I have been at parties and met new people and have had them say “Say something Funny Angela” like I can be turned on like a little pet Monkey. They expect something nutty to come flying out of my mouth and then they bend over and take off running for the toilet so as to not wet themselves. They all love to see me coming and get upset when I cannot make events. I make them feel good about themselves. But at the end of the day, no one thinks that maybe I need someone to make me laugh.
Seeing all of the kind words that have been written about Paul made me see that I do make a difference in people’s lives and although we never tell each other, they do need me.
I decided that life is too short to not let others know what we think of them. When you search Paul’s name, all that pops up are links to talk about his death. Paul never got to hear all of the nice things that people said about him.
We only say the nice things about people when they are gone and they don’t get to hear them or see how much we do change the world for others. I wrote a note to my mom telling her how much I respect her for raising 2 daughters without a husband and later still being able to get out of bed each day after burying my sister. I know the words I said will make her sad and cry but at the same time make her feel good knowing that she is respected and appreciated. It made me feel better knowing that I told her this before it is too late.
I am going to do this with every one of my friends. I am going to let them all know how much they mean to me. So, I am sure you are all starting to doze off from reading my babble, but I guess, if his death teaches us one thing, it is to always tell others how much they mean to you and how nice they make your world each day, they may not be here tomorrow. Nothing in life is ever guaranteed.
At least maybe some good will have came out of his leaving this earth if we all tell our friends and loved ones how we feel about them. This would give Paul just another way of changing the world for the better. Maybe this will make his death a little more easy to handle.
I’ll never forget you Paul and I will always take a piece of you with me from this day forward. Keep them laughing wherever you are my friend!
Angela
I signed on to Napster for the first time the other night. The first group I downloaded was Crowded House. I listend to them for hours and thought about how much I loved their music and I remembered what a crush I had on Paul(I was in my last year of high school when they came out with “Something So Strong”). The next night I pulled them up again. I decided to look Crowded House up on the net to see what they looked like and what was going on in their lives. I am an American and I did not know about Paul’s death until 3-18-06(18-03-06). When I saw a name listed and it said he had died, I could not believe it. Not my cute, funny little Paul.
I never met the man and I only listened to their music, but I have not stopped crying since I heard about his death. At first I felt silly for feeling this way(thank goodness my husband was out of town or he would have thought I was a loon for acting like this over the death of someone I never met). But I did meet him through his music and his videos and I feel like I am an old friend.
I started asking myself “Why am I acting like this?” I guess the answer is that I am like Paul, I suffer from depression. About 5 years ago, I hit rock bottom, no boyfriend, hated my job, felt talented but had to do a job I hated to pay my bills. I had lost my father at age 14 due to cancer and my sister died from an epileptic seizure in the bathtub when she was 17 and I was 20. Not including them, I have lost 14 close family members since I was 14. I tried to act like everything was fine for years but it just came to a head one day.
Luckily I told one of my friends about my thoughts of suicide and she suggested seeing a therapist and getting on medication(kinda ironic since I have a degree in Psychology and Sociology). It has been over 5 years now, I try to get off my meds from time to time thinking I can handle life on my own, but I have to accept that my body is lacking in seratonin and I will always have to take these pills.
On a happier note, I met someone about a year after my depression kicked in and I am now I have been happily married for 3 years. The first thing I told him was about my depression and meds so that if he was not o.k. with that, I did not need to waste my time on him. Although he does not understand depression, he loves and accepts me just the way I am.
You see, I am considered to be funny too. Everytime my friends are down they call me to make them laugh and soon they are feeling better. I am always supposed to be “on” or “the clown” when I am around others. I have been at parties and met new people and have had them say “Say something Funny Angela” like I can be turned on like a little pet Monkey. They expect something nutty to come flying out of my mouth and then they bend over and take off running for the toilet so as to not wet themselves. They all love to see me coming and get upset when I cannot make events. I make them feel good about themselves. But at the end of the day, no one thinks that maybe I need someone to make me laugh.
Seeing all of the kind words that have been written about Paul made me see that I do make a difference in people’s lives and although we never tell each other, they do need me.
I decided that life is too short to not let others know what we think of them. When you search Paul’s name, all that pops up are links to talk about his death. Paul never got to hear all of the nice things that people said about him.
We only say the nice things about people when they are gone and they don’t get to hear them or see how much we do change the world for others. I wrote a note to my mom telling her how much I respect her for raising 2 daughters without a husband and later still being able to get out of bed each day after burying my sister. I know the words I said will make her sad and cry but at the same time make her feel good knowing that she is respected and appreciated. It made me feel better knowing that I told her this before it is too late.
I am going to do this with every one of my friends. I am going to let them all know how much they mean to me. So, I am sure you are all starting to doze off from reading my babble, but I guess, if his death teaches us one thing, it is to always tell others how much they mean to you and how nice they make your world each day, they may not be here tomorrow. Nothing in life is ever guaranteed.
At least maybe some good will have came out of his leaving this earth if we all tell our friends and loved ones how we feel about them. This would give Paul just another way of changing the world for the better. Maybe this will make his death a little more easy to handle.
I’ll never forget you Paul and I will always take a piece of you with me from this day forward. Keep them laughing wherever you are my friend!
Angela
I am an American who was living and studying in Melbourne for 3 years. I married an Aussie in 2002. He and Paul Hester were members of the same golf club and played together a lot. He LOVED golf and stopped in the store where my husband worked pretty regularly…always asking how I was and when I was going to learn how to play golf. (I couldn’t believe that Hessie was inviting me to partake in the most sacred guy ritual…one of the unspoken rules in the golf world is that you NEVER bring your wife! LOL He was sincere about it.) So, after I heard “when is your wife going to learn how to play golf?” a few more times, I eventually started taking a few lessons from a friend and went to the driving range with my husband so I could have that golf game, with a score under 200. LOL Unfortunately, that game never got to happen. I couldn’t believe the news when I heard it – on Triple M – instead of someone we knew. That is also the way my husband heard the news as he was driving to work on Easter Monday, 2005. It was so traumatic for him. The whole thing still seems surreal. Sometimes, I still can’t believe it actually happened. We couldn’t turn on the TV, radio, or even go online to check our email without it being EVERYWHERE. My heart ached for my husband, for Hessie’s family, especially his little girls, as well as those who were closest to him. There was just no escape from the constant, unsolicited reminders. I even saw details published and it infuriated me to see journalists strip this man of his dignity in order to sell a story and make money off of it – benefiting from this tragedy. It sickens me that that’s what some people will remember about him. I was angered by all of the media attention and the constant speculation as to why this happened. We’ll never truly know and it’s none of our business. THANK YOU for stating that in this article. I saw so many things in the local Melbourne papers, on ninemsn, and other websites that were so untrue and it made me furious. I was more disturbed that he was obviously in such a tremendous amount of pain that it was just more than he could endure. I thought about it every day for over a year. Nobody had any idea he was suffering. It disturbed me on such a deep level. My husband and I went to the memorial service at the Prince of Wales and there were news cameras in our faces as we approached the entrance to the hotel…and once inside there were a few journalists crowding their way around to see who was there, then pushing their way up front to the stage to get photos of Nick Seymour and other performers who were offering their heartfelt tributes. It was disgusting. This had such a profound effect on my husband that he told me there was so much more out there in life and he wanted a divorce about three weeks later. He “lost the plot” and the more I tried to help, the more he pushed me away and fell into a deep drug addiction, trying to numb his sadness. No matter what I did, I could not reach him. I still love him uncoinditionally and would do anything to help him get back on the right path in life. Anyway, I still feel such a deep sadness for Hessie’s family and close friends, for the loss of his presence, that we’ll never get to hear any more of his hysterical stories, see any more of his creative fashion sense, and we’ll never get to enjoy any more evolution as a musician. He was so incredibly talented. When he left this world, he left a huge gaping hole that can never be filled. Above all else, I feel grief that he had unbearable pain in his heart, and I hope he has found the peace he was desperately looking for. For all of us you left behind, we miss you so much. Thank you for sharing your amazing gifts with us.
I am an American who was living and studying in Melbourne for 3 years. I married an Aussie in 2002. He and Paul Hester were members of the same golf club and played together a lot. He LOVED golf and stopped in the store where my husband worked pretty regularly…always asking how I was and when I was going to learn how to play golf. (I couldn’t believe that Hessie was inviting me to partake in the most sacred guy ritual…one of the unspoken rules in the golf world is that you NEVER bring your wife! LOL He was sincere about it.) So, after I heard “when is your wife going to learn how to play golf?” a few more times, I eventually started taking a few lessons from a friend and went to the driving range with my husband so I could have that golf game, with a score under 200. LOL Unfortunately, that game never got to happen. I couldn’t believe the news when I heard it – on Triple M – instead of someone we knew. That is also the way my husband heard the news as he was driving to work on Easter Monday, 2005. It was so traumatic for him. The whole thing still seems surreal. Sometimes, I still can’t believe it actually happened. We couldn’t turn on the TV, radio, or even go online to check our email without it being EVERYWHERE. My heart ached for my husband, for Hessie’s family, especially his little girls, as well as those who were closest to him. There was just no escape from the constant, unsolicited reminders. I even saw details published and it infuriated me to see journalists strip this man of his dignity in order to sell a story and make money off of it – benefiting from this tragedy. It sickens me that that’s what some people will remember about him. I was angered by all of the media attention and the constant speculation as to why this happened. We’ll never truly know and it’s none of our business. THANK YOU for stating that in this article. I saw so many things in the local Melbourne papers, on ninemsn, and other websites that were so untrue and it made me furious. I was more disturbed that he was obviously in such a tremendous amount of pain that it was just more than he could endure. I thought about it every day for over a year. Nobody had any idea he was suffering. It disturbed me on such a deep level. My husband and I went to the memorial service at the Prince of Wales and there were news cameras in our faces as we approached the entrance to the hotel…and once inside there were a few journalists crowding their way around to see who was there, then pushing their way up front to the stage to get photos of Nick Seymour and other performers who were offering their heartfelt tributes. It was disgusting. This had such a profound effect on my husband that he told me there was so much more out there in life and he wanted a divorce about three weeks later. He “lost the plot” and the more I tried to help, the more he pushed me away and fell into a deep drug addiction, trying to numb his sadness. No matter what I did, I could not reach him. I still love him uncoinditionally and would do anything to help him get back on the right path in life. Anyway, I still feel such a deep sadness for Hessie’s family and close friends, for the loss of his presence, that we’ll never get to hear any more of his hysterical stories, see any more of his creative fashion sense, and we’ll never get to enjoy any more evolution as a musician. He was so incredibly talented. When he left this world, he left a huge gaping hole that can never be filled. Above all else, I feel grief that he had unbearable pain in his heart, and I hope he has found the peace he was desperately looking for. For all of us you left behind, we miss you so much. Thank you for sharing your amazing gifts with us.
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Great job guys… Thank for you work…
Great job guys… Thank for you work…
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